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bear with me.

Is your horizon too wide? Is it tiresome to always see the whole picture? Tunnelize your vision NOW! Introducing the revolutionary Tunnel-Izr! Guaranteed tunnel vision from the second you put on your new patented Tunnel-Izr! After 3 months of regular use, your peripheral vision will permanently diminish and in just one year it will be completely gone! No more distractions in your comfortably minimized field of sight. Talking to somebody? See the face only and ignore the rest of your conversation partner! At work? Focus on only on what’s right in front of you and let the others worry about the rest! Remember: less is more! Intellectually-challenged is the new smart! Think only of yourself and totally disregard your environment, like it never existed! Clinically tested and proven, the all new Tunnel-Izr effectively blocks up to 90 per cent of your range of sight, thus radically reducing information that will reach your brain. Comprehending less of the world will free your mind and make your life simple like it was when you were a child. You have a right to live life without worries and in complete, blissful ignorance! Now you’re only a snap away from that dream! Attach your Tunnel-Izr in one easy move and start enjoying a state of mind only known to simple life-forms before! And if that’s not enough, consider the world-class Dummee-Mee pills, our line of medication that will put your entire brain in hibernation in under 30 minutes for the rest of your carefree existence!

robert

Enthusiastic photographer. Loves stories too.