This is the season for warmth, boundless understanding, caring for the closest and the not-so-close, mutual appreciation, taking a precious moment to listen and to accept and, of course, to experience profound love. And, before I forget, to forgive. So, I am willing to let bygones be bygones and forget about last year and that fiasco of a gift you got me. This year I am making it easy for you. Look, listen and commit to memory what I say. The gold watch in the front row, second from the left, just behind that ugly Father Christmas figurine with the purple gown (who on earth picked that colour, I have no idea) and directly under the hanging light is the watch I want for a gift this year. I repeat. That — Is — The — Watch — I — Want! And the operative word, in case you haven’t caught it, is GOLD. As in twenty-four carats. As in not-any-other-metal. Make no mistake this time. Just get the damned thing and you will make me happy. And then we’ll share a wonderful and peaceful Christmas.